i don't even know where to begin...

it is not that often that words fail me. i think there are maybe 3 people in the world who have the "strike me speechless" effect. i shall not name names. i shall perhaps, post pictures...

here are a couple of words i can think of: REALLY?!, what!?!?!, and "oh god just get over it".

i'm a big fan of dressing up. it's fun to dress your mood. that, in fact, is what this blog, and my website are going to be ALL about. but who, seriously, who on what planet, wakes up in the mood "crack head bunny going to a funeral wrapped in part of a futon cushion" ??? honestly.

if you want attention just take off all your clothes and run down a busy street. otherwise, snap out of it. you're obviously a savvy girl to have made it this far. so get over this nonsense.

wow - i guess the power of speech returned to me. just in time.

you call that a shoe...? REALLY?!?!

ok - it's a bit hard to tell from the pic - it was taken from far away with an iphone by a trusty agent on the street (special thanks agent!) but these are some of the new "sculptural" shoes that seem to be happening to us these past couple of seasons. the first thing that springs to mind is "what?!?!", closely followed by "REALLY?!?!?!?" it bears saying that i am NOT into this. a shoe is a shoe people. it can be gorgeous and it can be almost a work of art - lord knows i love, love, love shoes. but as a shoe, it is a frickin shoe no less, and should have the parts a shoe is supposed to have. if it is a high HEEL it SHOULD HAVE HEELS. i'm exhausted by how ridiculous this is. i have to stop talking about this travesty.

excuse me miss, you forgot something

oh... where to begin. my secret agent on the street sent me these photos at EIGHT THIRTY AM. so i will begin there. "um, miss, it's 8:30 am and you don't seem to be fully dressed. can i help you get to a secure location?" i am not old fashioned. i am far from conservative in the way i dress. (to the point where i have been told by bf i should not leave the house wearing what i am wearing because it is too sexy) however there are limits.

this is not a skirt. this is a napkin. true style, my minions, is about feeling comfortable in the clothes you choose to wear to express yourself. true style is amazing and can take on a million variations of what it looks like. what it does NOT look like is tugging at your skirt-napkin (see photo) to make sure that you are not exposing your ass cheek to the crowds around Grand Central at 8:30 in the morning.

special thanks to agent Calagna for the brilliant spotting.